You are Enough, and 3 Simple Ways to Start Believing It

Hi friend -

Just a quick note to encourage you to believe that you are enough.

You are smart enough, pretty enough, busy enough. You're a good enough mom, wife, and person.

That doesn't mean you're perfect. Who is? And it doesn't mean that you can't improve in some areas. Who can't?

But most wives and moms don't struggle with thinking that they're perfect or believing that they don't need to improve in any area.

Instead, we struggle with thinking and believing that we aren't enough. For many of us, that takes the form of not pretty enough, not thin enough, not good enough (as a mom or wife or person).

And, unfortunately, if you've spent a fair amount of time in churches throughout your life, you may have received a double dose of the "not enough" message.

But here's the thing. You ARE enough. You were created in the image of God. He loves you. And He wants you to be filled with joy (John 17:13).

So I want to encourage you today to let go of the idea that you aren't enough and believe instead that you are a beloved daughter of God who is more than enough. And I want to encourage you to do take 3 simple steps to help you embrace that belief:

1. Change your messages. Start to notice the "not enough" messages you say to yourself, and begin changing them. Our brains are very powerful, and we tend to become what we think. But we can change the message and allow ourselves to become something different.

So notice when your mind says, "You're not ______ enough," then tell your brain the truth - "Oh yes, I am _______ enough" (smart enough, pretty enough, hard working enough, busy enough, a good enough mom, etc).

Practice it, even though it seems weird and awkward. Over time, your thoughts and the ways you act on them will change.

2. Take care of yourself. One of the painful side effects of feeling as if you're not enough is that you stop taking care of yourself. Because if you think that you're not a good enough mom or wife, or you're not busy enough or successful enough, then you're always striving to be "more." And that striving sucks up a lot of time and a lot of physical and emotional energy.

But it usually ends up being a trap - you work harder to be "enough," but you end up feeling more exhausted and frustrated.

So starting today, and for the next 7 days, do one thing to take care of yourself every day. That one thing will be different for every woman, so decide what it should be for you.

Maybe it means getting at least 7 hours of sleep every day for the next week (which can totally transform how your mind and body feel). Maybe it means working every day to declutter or destress your life in some way. Maybe it means taking 30 minutes a day to do something you really want to do. (Not something you should do, something you really want to do.) Maybe it means making time to take a walk or exercise or eat one healthy meal every day.

As yourself what you need, listen to what your mind and body say, then do that thing. Every day, for one week.

3. Practice saying no and letting go. When we strive to be "enough," we often fall into the trap of taking on more activities and more responsibilities. After all, if I think that I'm not a "good enough" mom, then I might believe that if I become my children's room mom, Scout leader, soccer coach, housekeeper, and personal homework assistant, then I might become "good enough."

Or if I think that I'm not a "good enough" employee at work, I may take on more and more responsibility that really belongs to other people, just to prove how "good" I am. Or if I'm not a "good enough" Christian, then maybe I need to do more and more at church.

It quickly becomes a vicious cycle, and it never leads to feeling like you're enough.

So think about the things you're doing that arise from guilt or obligation or the feeling that you need to be "more." And start letting go of them. Begin saying "no," and don't say agree to take on anything new.

Yes, this is hard. It will take time and practice. You won't like doing it. (I've done it, and I hated doing it. But in the end, it was very freeing.) You'll feel like you're getting it "wrong." But you aren't. Just keep going.

If you've been feeling lately like you're not enough, I want to encourage you that you're more than enough. If you need to improve in some area, that's fine. Take steps to make positive changes. But don't drag yourself down with a generalized "not enough" feeling. And when that feeling starts to take hold, try these 3 simple steps for letting it go.